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Sex With Ducks

This has made the rounds pretty much everywhere already, including CNN, so I'm not on the cutting edge here. But, I've been meaning to post this for days and I'm just now getting around to it. The video is in response to comments made by Pat Robertson regarding the federal hate crimes bill. He's not known for saying things that are...sane...so these girls took his insanity and made a catchy little song out of it.



As an added bonus, Pat Robertson, who just can't keep the crazy to himself, gives really bad advice to someone who wrote into his show. He has somehow (through detailed and extensive scientific research I'm sure) determined that many gay men are gay because they were abused by a coach or guidance counselor when they were young. I don't remember that happening, so I must be one of the few with biological issues. He doesn't give us any advice for how lesbians got that way.



What's interesting is that the person who wrote in mentions that the christian bible says to love one's neighbor as you love yourself. Robertson completely side-stepped that by saying that if it's someone like a son and he's on the path the hell you let him go. But apparently you do that out of love. So I'm not sure how you love your son by forcing him to be something he's not so he won't go to hell, but you love your neighbor by apparently letting them stay on a path to hell. This christianity thing is so confusing. it's also full of irony: Robertson and his kind are very interested in changing their neighbors' behavior if it doesn't correspond to what they approve of. So that loving one's neighbors only goes so far apparently.

America's best christian explains marriage

If you've not seen Betty Bowers' web site it's worth checking out. She is the self-proclaimed America's Best Christian and her site is hilarious.

She has done a new video explaining traditional marriage for all of us, so that we don't have to read the christian bible ourselves and put it all together.

Seth MacFarlane interview

I admit than I'm a fan of Family Guy. It's crass and crude at times, and more often than not they don't know when to end a joke. But, this interview with its creator Seth MacFarlane makes me appreciate it even more. In the interview he doesn't talk much about Family Guy but discusses a lot of his personal beliefs. I have to say that my beliefs are definitely in-line with his. And, he's also obviously genuinely funny. Having Bill Maher host the interview only adds to it; I used to really dislike him but that's changed in the last few years. I also agree with a lot of what he has to say and he definitely makes some good points. In fact, there are several good points made in the interview.

Best teabagging quote of the day

If you've not heard of the conservative nutjobs teabag parties today, I'm not going to educate you in this post. Just use the Google and you'll find all kinds of info. Needless to say, it's a big joke. Anderson Cooper came up with the best quote I've heard so far today:

What if god disappeared?

From brilliant satirist Edward Current.



His other videos on the Tube are also worth watching.

Hillbilly gift baskets, and other Texas fun

The last couple of weeks were busy with me getting ready for a trip to Houston to visit my father and step-mother. I got here on Tuesday afternoon, after getting up at 3:00 in the morning for a 6:00 flight. I’m here until next Tuesday evening. We have nothing planned other than a little sightseeing, lots of talking and catching up, and lots of eating. We’ve had two big lunches in two days, looked at new pickups, looked at new Harley Davisdons (with no intention of buying either), and spent lots of time playing with the dog. We’re going to be out and about tomorrow and this weekend visiting some small towns in the area.

I always forget how different this part of the country is from Seattle and Cascadia (the Pacific Northwest). It’s flat, it’s bland, it’s full of strip-malls, and the 12-lane interstates (with 6-lane frontage roads) are the largest and most interesting features, man-made or otherwise, in the area. I’m not sure how people complain about the traffic in Seattle compared to places like Houston. While it might take longer to go X number of miles in Seattle, there are flat out lots more miles to cover here with equally terrible traffic, which makes any commute a real undertaking. Tonight we were looking at pictures I’d taken of the Oregon coast, the Washington coast, Seattle, and the Cascades and I was struck by how different, and how much more beautiful, that area is from here. My father and step-mother were also struck by it, and that’s one of the biggest reasons they would like to move up near Seattle.

Pointing out even more differences today was a trip to the grocery store. First inside the store was a rack of books marked “Recommended Reading". Every book had something to do with the christian bible, in some form or another. Next to that was a copy of Ann Coulter’s latest book, along with books by some other unseemly “authors”. I wasn’t sure if we were in a Kroger or a right-wing bookstore. The bakery department was interesting for the total lack of artistic ability displayed on the baked goods. There was obviously some creativity but no ability to carry it off. Sadly, those shopping seemed to think that the baked goods were incredibly artistic. The pile of blue icing masquerading as a flower that completely obscured a cupcake was a good example. I took pictures but they aren’t worth posting. What does a pile of icing look like in pictures? Well, a pile of icing…

The best thing I saw was what I instantly termed the hillbilly gift basket. There was a large display of leftover gift baskets from Valentine’s day, and they were all somewhat “quaint” in design. However, the best one was this:

Yes, it’s a six-pack of diet Dr. Pepper with a can of Pringles on top, with some leftover Halloween Snickers thrown into a cellophane bag with a ribbon on it. And, it’s been marked down to only $9.99 since it didn’t sell. Doing the math, a can of Pringles, some diet Dr. P., and some bite size Snickers don’t add up to $9.99. It’s no wonder the store didn’t dismantle the thing and try to sell each “gift item” separately; they’re still making money on it even at the markdown price. But I can’t help but wonder about both the person who would give this as a Valentine gift and the person who would enjoy receiving it. “Happy Valentine’s Day honey! Here’s some diet soda (oooops, “pop”…we’re in TX), some greasy chips, and some leftover candy!” It practically screams romance.

I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw this "gift basket", but it typifies the whole area. In my father’s and step-mother’s defense, they hate it here too, for all kinds of reasons. I've seen several things I find funny, that to the locals don't seem funny (like the company with a large sign out front with the name "BJ Services"). To counter the effects of the area on me, I’m currently listening to Bill Evans while I type. It’s a nice counter to the lack of culture and anything non-Texan here.

My, how things have changed

Circa 1981

This is just wrong

Posted without further comment...

A rose by any other name...

Reaching new heights of stupidity, a school in England has decided to not call itself a school because of negative connotations with the word. It is a "place for learning". Isn't that the definition of the word "school"? Aren't they saying the same thing?

Are people really so dumb as to fall for the idea that giving something a different name makes a different something? Surely not, but then again, there's no accounting for stupidity. Or wait...should I call it something else besides stupidity? How about: "Given to unintelligent decisions or acts." That's better...it sounds much less harsh now.

Jinger awr the way

I had the pleasure of having lunch today with a good friend at a local phở restaurant. Phở makes for a nice warm cheap lunch on a cold winter day. However, the restaurant made the unfortunate decision to play an all-Asian selection of christmas carols. They were recorded by, apparently, the same Asian singers who re-do the latest pop hits which are then sold in street markets all over Asia. I heard music very much like this in markets throughout Hong Kong and Bangkok. It sounds like four or five Asian women all singing together, no harmony, over a monotonous continuous beat that sounds as if it's being played on a Windows 3.1 MIDI keyboard. Who needs Madonna singing Madonna when we can have Asian singers pretending it's karaoke night singing Madonna?

In any event, we were first treated to a 25 minute-long medley of every single christmas carol ever written, including some that I didn't know were christmas carols (who knew that Happy Days Are Here Again had anything to do with christmas?). Several song later - although who could tell where one song ended and the next began - the highlight of our lunch: Jingle Bells. Sadly it came out sounding like "Jinger bewrs, jinger bewrs, jinger awr the way". And all this to the same monotonous beat. If nothing else it made for entertaining background noise, but I wish it had been slightly further in the background.

Because smelling like ground meat just screams sexuality

There are so many things wrong with this, and so many jokes about "whoppers" and "where's the beef" that just don't even need to be said, but WTF? Who wants to walk around smelling like a piece of ground up meat-like food product?

This is a serious marketing fail if you ask me. What kind of person would buy this? I guess it's not enough these days to smell freshly showered and clean. Apparently one is only really truly seductive when he smells as if he's been standing near the dumpsters of the nearest BK, downwind of the flame broiler exhaust pipe. Just watch out for stray dogs.

Who knew the term "gag gift" was meant to be taken literally!?

Just plain funny

This doesn't require much of an explanation. At least the guy was honest.

The things people throw away

Walking back to my building after lunch today I happened to casually throw a piece of paper into the garbage, only to look down and see this:


Talk about doing a double-take. I remember when Seattle used to be such a nice city. You could walk past trash cans in almost any area and not be accosted by hardcore porn. What is this city coming to...? I was so offended that I had to stop and take a couple of pictures with my mobile phone.

I did like the dichotomy of the Whole Foods container (not recycled I might add!) next to the "Beautiful Slut Mothers" DVD cover.

Are they trying to tell us something?

It's no surprise that there were plenty of derogatory URLs registered as soon as Palin was chosen by McCain to be his eye candy running mate. What is a surprise is where a URL like sarahpalinsucks.com leads to. Maybe the MacCain campaign is simply making an admission about what we already knew.

I wish I had bought my car from this place

No further comment necessary.

Warning: It is NOT going to rain

Until today I had never heard of a "non-precipitation advisory". I can't believe the National Weather Service has nothing better to do than to issue a warning that it's not going to rain and then make it an alert. I'm just not sure how we're supposed to prepare for a weather phenomenon that's not going to happen.

Too funny

This needs no explanation.

I hate when this happens

In Shelby County, TX in early July, the driver was apparently circling the bank with his new truck and camper to park on the other side and clipped the corner of the roof. Somehow he and his 10 year old son got out unharmed, which is pretty amazing when you watch the thing. All I can think of is "Thank the gods it didn't happen to us when we went camping!"

Paris for Pres.

Okay, I've pretty much despised Paris Hilton as one of the celebrities who doesn't deserve any of the attention she gets from the public. She's simply famous for being famous. But, after watching this vid I had to say that I like her a whole lot more. I generally don't pay attention to what she has to say but McCain did drag her into the campaign and I like how she responded.